Mr. and Mrs. Draper

This show enthralls me. At first, I started watching for Jon Hamm... because let's face it. He is the perfect man. But then I started feeling a strange, strange addiction to the show, to Don Draper, the character, and Betty Draper.

There is a scene where they have a fight, and Don says to her wan, defeated face: "It's like I'm living with a little girl." Why do those lines echo in my head, days after I've watched that episode? Why does it prick me, as though he was speaking to me?

I never liked January Jones. But she IS Betty Draper. I believe her. I am obviously not a married woman, not a pent up 60s housewife, but I identify with her character so strongly that it scares me. And I feel like I know Don Draper.

In Season 2, Betty chases after Don up the stairs, angry that he won't take part in disciplining the children, for throwing the toy against the wall, completely shattering it. I can't even remember what happened... and honestly, I don't want to. But she pushes him and then he pushes her back, and she stares at him, in shock, before walking away.

I wasn't expecting that scene, but in a split second I felt tears come to my eyes, felt my stomach drop.

Don Draper is a charismatic character, and he's good-looking. But I don't like him. He scares me. I hate the way he treats Betty. I hate how closed-up he is. Why is Betty so anxious? Because he's hot and cold, and there is no pattern to his madness. Her life is dry.

Maybe there are a thousand parallels to her life and my own, I don't know.
I do know why this show, these characters, make such an impression on me. Why I hate Jon Hamm's character and even January Jones's but I still can't stop watching.