I actually pissed J off yesterday. It was my goal all along supposedly, but after doing it, I felt terrible. And I don't ever want to do it again.
We talked it out, and there were some misunderstandings from both parties... I just never knew that I could ever make someone mad because of my flirtatiousness. I didn't even know it was possible that I could do that.
I don't know what I learned from all this besides the fact that I really want to be good, and I care about him and what he thinks of me, even though I shouldn't.